In my study many of the young women I spoke to felt excluded through their experiences around Holy Communion (Mass, Eucharist Lord’s Supper – I have chosen to use Communion for simplicity).
Not being allowed Communion because of age was a big issue; sometimes because women looked younger than they were, sometimes because they weren’t old enough to be confirmed in their church. Some found ways to subvert this, such as their mother sharing the Communion bread with them.
Not being allowed Communion because of not being Confirmed felt very excluding and frustrating for some, but there was also a very positive experience of becoming fully included through the experience of Confirmation.
Not being allowed Communion because of personal life circumstances, such as being divorced and remarried, also caused painful feelings of exclusion. Often these emotions were even stronger when the person excluded was someone the woman cared about, more than if she was excluded herself.
Women talked about their anger, their hurt and pain.
They spoke of feeling that they or others were taught or made to feel they “didn’t deserve”, or were “not worthy” or “not holy enough”.
Some women talked about Communion with fear. They were afraid of the consequences: afraid of the ‘dangerous sides’ of receiving Communion without being free from sin; or afraid of what might happen because they had accidently taken Roman Catholic Communion when they were a member of another church; or afraid to ever receive because the imagery of body and blood was ‘taboo’ and left her feeling ‘freaked out’.
Some women saw the things worn by priests and other ministers in church as significant. Some found they helped to create a sense of holiness, while others found churches that didn’t use robes were much more comfortable, “making it less strange”.
Women responded to these feelings and experiences by:
- choosing to take control by never receiving Communion. This way it could neither be forced on them, nor withheld.
- arguing passionately for an open table where no-one is excluded. Wanting to ensure they and other people never had to experience the hurt and rejection of exclusion from Communion.
- wanting a place where their voices, opinions and beliefs could be heard and valued, along with the voices of others too. A place where people were treated as equals and different views should be accepted: one woman explained “I think everyone comes to these things differently don’t they? I don’t think it’s right to force things on people”.
Summary:
Almost all the women in my study reacted strongly to boundaries which excluded themselves or others, as well as aspects of the teachings and practices around Communion that created feelings of alienation or fear.
The powerlessness, sense of unworthiness and experiences of exclusion described by the women, led them to react by seeking:
- Communion which is radically inclusive
- Transformation in church practice and teaching, transcending boundaries which cause damaging marginalization
- A place for difference, where they could work things out for themselves and act in a way that was comfortable for them and for others
This post looks at some of the difficulties young women describe around sharing in Communion.
The next one looks at the very positive aspects of Communion reported by young women! 🙂
Do you have a thoughts, a story or a comment to share about what you have read?
Do you have ideas or experiences that might help women feel more included or at ease in the aspects of Communion they describe as being difficult?
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Women In Communion 